Email response to a hens and bucks nights invitation

posted Nov 24, 2011, 7:00 PM by ash ‎(evermindful)‎
Hi Rob,

I got your SMS's the other day about the hens and bucks nights. My wife has been flat out working on school reports and hasn't had time to read emails and to do anything else.

We appreciate the invitations to the pre-wedding parties but the truth is that as we both get closer and closer to monastic life these types of events become less and less attractive.

Please don’t interpret this as a judgement on others but more a process of renunciation in ones own life.

I love you and Ali dearly and I want you both to have the greatest happiness. You should know that your happiness is currently defined as sensual happiness in a conventional sense. However, more and more I am gravitating towards a fine-material happiness (ie. a happiness drawn from within the body). As one's mind moves from conventional to ultimate they become less stimulated (and eventually disenchanted) with sense pleasures.

I want you to understand this, because I don’t want you to ever think that I love you less now than before. I have good will for you, compassion for you, empathetic joy and equanimity for you. You remain in my thoughts daily as I express metta to you.

I can imagine that you are thinking that now ash as finally lost it. I am actually really well. It’s just that my mind has transformed from one paradigm to another. The conventional paradigm is like a roller-coaster ride, lots of ups and many more downs, eventually you fly off and die and go on the ride again and again. The ultimate paradigm is just a seemingly infinite stream of cause and effect, eventually the causes cease without remainder and the effect is extinguished.

I have no job and sit and meditate each day, but I know that I am getting closer to true and _lasting_ happiness. I hope that one day that you too will share this experience.

Btw, what would you like as a wedding gift?

love ash