These days

posted Dec 20, 2009, 8:20 PM by ash ‎(evermindful)‎   [ updated Dec 20, 2009, 8:41 PM ]
Sometimes we get the opportunity to pause the process of life, rewind it and reflect on the journey to date.

This year I celebrated my 40th birthday, 15th year of marriage, my son winning a scholarship to a private school and my daughter winning the school’s public speaking competition. These milestones are just a few events in an entire lifetime of millions of unlabeled moments. After much contemplation we may see that these events are all part of the perfect system. I often marvel at how perfect this system is. A system that is so rich with detail, yet so simple in execution. A system orchestrated with precision, yet so often seemingly chaotic. The beauty of this system is only unveiled when we reverse engineer our life. Reverse engineering is a process where we start from here and now and reverse through each moment that is governed by cause and effect.

For me the process of reverse engineering is a time of celebration and joy at the transformation in my own life. By following the kammic chain of events I observe the amazing evolution of my spiritual journey. How does someone so obsessed with vanity, material wealth and sensuality change so dramatically over 20+ years? The answer is simple, just one moment at a time under the presence of cumulative forces. With each personal connection, with each experience in my life I was being taught dhamma. Only in years to come would I discover each lesson and the role that everyone played. As I reflect on each event a genuine compassion develops; compassion for my parents, my teachers, my relatives, my friends, my enemies, indifferent parties and animals that played their roles in this life. Then I contemplate what if this system is bigger than all that…?

What if, what I considered was the start was simply an arbitrary point on the rim of a circle? What if birth-life-death was cyclic? What if each life was no different to each breath that we breathe? What if like the breath, one life follows another and is influenced by the previous and the current conditions? What if we have persisted through many cosmic eons of lives? What if through these cosmic eons we have all been very deeply connected with one another? What if at some stage or another we have all been brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, partners and/or lovers of each other?  What if this system was the perfect holistic system?

At this point in my contemplation I am humbled. Suddenly I see glimpses of times that I have been selfish towards those in need. I see times when I did not treat someone as I would treat a family member. I see times when generosity was overtaken by greed.

At this moment I summon the courage and determination to make a change in the right direction before this life ends too. I vow to make the most of each day and be grateful for the connections with each other. I plan do that by living in the moment without the baggage of the past or expectations of the future.

If these days turned out nothing like you had planned, then may you develop the courage to make a change. May the New Year bring you all profit, prosperity, peace and happiness.

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